So, it’s almost 2’o clock in the morning and I’m up, listening to Florence And The Machine and blogging. Well, tweeting really, but it’s all the same, right? I’ve been so under pressure lately. The break up didn’t exactly go as well as I had hoped. Oh, what break up? I met a boy about 4 months ago. We hit it off and dated. But he had the emotional presence of a kitchen door. I know that doesn’t make sense but it just means he just was so emotionally absent. What’s worse is that he didn’t even notice it.
Varsity’s a nightmare. I get assignments I knew nothing about and fail tests I should’ve studied for. At 22, I feel like I’ve achieved absolutely nothing. People I went to high school with a getting married, getting pregnant, getting houses, graduating. Here I am and all I have to my name is this Blackberry. Depressing shit. It’s the fags I worry about mostly. Like I wonder what they’re saying about me. I know I shouldn’t care, but hey, it’s hard not to when u’re surrounded by a community of gossip mongers (gross generalisation, I realise, but you were thinking it!).
I’m seeing a shrink. His name’s Xander. Nice guy. He gets me. Haven’t seen him for two weeks though. Varsity’s been getting in the way. All these tests and seemingly impromptu assignments are irritating the fuck outta me. Like, if I fail the year, it’s totally my fault, but I just can’t help but feel crap about it…… Sigh. Is the Universe testing me? Cause if it is, I’m failing. Dismally.