The art of being a burden

I’m an emotionally needy person. I am clingy and I constantly need validation. This has sent many a boyfriend running for the hills and has my friends so exasperated that they can only look on while I slowly carve myself up and serve me on a silver platter to a man who’ll probably leave once he realises how hungry I am. I hunger for attention, love, devotion. When I love, I expect you to treat me like your own little deity. I expect the days of your life to be dedicated to me and I alone. I will also give you the same treatment provided I don’t get bored with you after a week.

I have control issues. When you are mine, I will demand to run your life, and if I can’t, then I will be unhappy and I will accuse you of cheating at every chance I get. I will call you emotionally absent, I will lable you all sorts of things from cheater to motherfucker. If you miss my call, you had better call me back because if you don’t and I find you online anywhere, I will torment and nag you till you get so angry that you leave.

My current boyfriend knows this. He doesn’t give a flying fuck. This is his life, not mine. He loves me, but he will not be enslaved. He loves me but he will not be treated like a husband near the end of his marriage. My current boyfriend loves me but he will leave if I do not learn to relax and go with the flow.

My current boyfriend, the one I’ll keep for the longest time to come, helps me understand that the universe cannot always revolve around me. My Fag Hag reminds me that this Planet does not belong to any of us. Being a burden gets tiring. So from now on, I’m making a move that will either make or break me.

I am becoming less of a burden. I don’t think it can be done, but let’s give up when we’ve at least tried.

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